Stamina and Hairy Studs

Posted By on November 13, 2009

Johnys asshole.

Johny's asshole.

Oh, hi. It’s just me…Brian. Today’s entry may have a melancholy feel about it because I am in a melancholy mood. I found out today that I didn’t get accepted into the fiction workshop I wanted, again. And the ex-boyfriend DID (get accepted), again. I’m taking the GRE tomorrow and am also freaking out about that…I can feel the ulcers gnawing at my gut. This new defeat has made me rather, hm, pessimistic toward the future. MFA programs accept roughly 1.9% of their applicants. Will stupid ass ex-boyfriend get into Iowa while I continue to fill my lungs with weird NY air? Probably, unless I stop fucking around and actually WORK. I’m deleting my Facebook until mid-January (when applications are due) and until then I’m going to write for at least three hours a day (this blog not included).

Alex

Alex

I was talking to my roommate last night about my desire to grow my hair past my shoulders. I told her how I can never get it there because I always get all manic about something and then decide to chop it off. My thoughts are something to the effect of: *slashes hair* “This is for all my sins!” *slashes hair again* “Take that, cruel world!”

Sadly I am hardly kidding.

Giordanno

Giordanno

I’ve made it pretty far this time around, my hair’s currently about an inch above shoulder-length and my beard is coming in nicely. But I know from personal experience and from the experiences related to me by others–hair-cutting is often used as a tool for renewal and revitalization. Which makes me wonder…what about the hairy guys? Not just the sprig-of-chest-hair guys, but the BEARS? The hairy motherfuckers, if you will. What kind of balls do they have that they don’t have to immediately rush to the clippers every time a mini-crisis occurs? It’s an act of cleansing and purification…or maybe I’m just not happy with myself yet.

Anthony...hes straight.

Anthony...he's straight.

Which would mean, by some permutation of the transitive property…the hairy motherfuckers are confident as hell? Hm. Or they’re just lazy. Either way, they’re the kind of man who can’t be bothered to trim here and there and spend three hours each morning meticulously applying product. He’s got more important things to do. Like chop down trees, grill cheeseburgers, practice auto-fellatio…Maybe that’s why hairy guys are so hot. They’ve got the stamina to let ‘er grow, they love who they are so much they can’t bear to shave (ha, get it, BEAR)…

Or they probably just don’t give a fuck what they look like. Or are scared of razors. Hm.

Anthonys Ass...sounds like Sophies Choice

Anthony's Ass...sounds like Sophie's Choice

Therefore. In honor of people unlike me who would probably just go get drunk tonight and not freak out about some stupid standardized test, I present to you: the men who aren’t pansies. The hairy studs.

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About the author

Brian Elizabeth Ritz. 23 year old faggot from Brooklyn. Young, fun, occasionally full of cum. A fan of the cock. A cockmonger. Writer. The gay porn blogger your mother warned you about. ;)

Comments

10 Responses to “Stamina and Hairy Studs”

  1. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  2. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  3. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  4. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  5. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  6. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  7. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  8. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  9. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

  10. [...] week, I must say, has gone by pretty quickly.  But I’m glad it’s finally over.  While Brian is going home to rest up for GRE’s I’m making the conscious decision to go out and drink.  But I’ll drink sensibly; I [...]

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