He's got Usher's babyface.

Today on my way to work, a magic hen descended from the sky and landed at my feet. “O gentle hen,” I inquired, “what brings thee to mine feet?” And then the hen made a rather loud squawk, squinted up her eyes as though constipated, and then I heard a sound of ejection: the hen had laid…three photos?

“Hen, hen, what are these odd paraphe–” I stopped. Two things happened at once: a taxi cab zoomed straight into the magic hen and killed it and I came a little bit, three times in a row. The two events were not related.

In honor of the magical hen, I have decided to share with you the three photographs she laid mere moments before her death. Oh! Also relevant: as the taxi whooshed away with the hen dead on its windshield, I could have sworn I heard the following words:

“LITERALLY straight from the shoot in Rio/ SUPER exclusive / new Studmall film / released in October / Used and Abused“

I don’t know what to make of it. Any ideas?

Even the tanlines are sexy.

The Immaculate Hole